Words, Left Unspoken
by rcngshdws
Summary: Things Touka didn't say at all.


**v. things you didn't say at all**

Touka glanced nervously at the clock ticking on the wall, and her gaze moved to the young man sitting by himself, only accompained by a book in his hands, and a cup of coffee that had gone cold on his table.

She knew she couldn't hold back any longer, so Touka walked toward him–as slowly as possible.

She cleared her throat, "I'm sorry," she started, and saw the young man was startled by her voice. "We're about to close."

"Uh, yeah, of course," he mumbled, closing the book and place it on the table. "Uh, look, Kirishima-san–"

Touka's heart raced faster when she realized he knew her name. Even if it's written on her name tag.

"–I'm not ready to go home yet. Can I help you around? Like washing dishes or clean up the place? I can walk you home."

 _Home_ , Touka thought, _What's his home like?_ She couldn't help but wonder.

"My brother and I just live upstairs, so no need to walk me home," she tried to smile but it felt like a grimace, and she hoped he didn't notice.

"Ah, yes, your brother… I didn't see him around."

"He had… some business, out of the town." As soon as the words left her mouth, she silently cursed herself. _Did I just imply I'm home alone?!_

"I see," he smiled. "Well, you can't just clean up this place by yourself, can you?"

Just like that, she couldn't say no–not even after he didn't recognize her. Not even after he didn't even know what he used to be.

–

"Kirishima-san,"

"Touka."

"I'm sorry?"

"You can call me Touka," she whispered, feeling grateful he couldn't see her face. He was currently wiping the table, with the sleeves on his arms rolled up to his elbow, and her currently washing the dishes. _Just like an old time._

"Alright… Touka-chan,"

She had to stop before pulling herself together (that, and before she broke any glass).

"Do you have any younger brother?" He asked. "I saw someone who looks exactly like you, but he's a guy and certainly younger."

She stiffened, partly because of the fact that he had met Ayato. In what occasion, really? Did they meet when Aogiri and CCG faced each other? Did Aogiri get in the CCG's way, as usual? Did CCG have another mission to exterminate Aogiri? Or did they just pass each other on the road, with him not knowing about Ayato, but Ayato certainly recognized him?

"N-no," she replied, stuttering. "It's just me and my elder brother."

"Right," he said. "I don't know… it's just when I saw him, I was suddenly reminded of you, you know? You both had the same eyes and facial features."

"Maybe it's just coincidence." She said softly and he agreed.

No words were spoken between them until then, only the sound of water running, the clank of glasses, his footsteps moving to other table, cloth pressing and moving against the surface of table.

"You know, Ki–Touka-chan," he said, breaking the silence. "That I actually _never_ remember my life before this–before working as Ghoul investigator."

Touka winced as she heard the word, _Ghoul investigator_ , because she was reminded again that things were not like before; they were not in Anteiku, it was not _Kaneki_ wiping the table, but someone else, he just happened to be trapped in the same body.

"When I saw you, I cried, d'you remember?"

"Yes," Touka could only manage a whisper, a lump in her throat made it hard to breath.

"Maybe I was just… maybe deep in my mind, somewhere in places where my memories are kept, that I remember I once had a beautiful lover. As beautiful as you are." He no longer wiped the table, only staring at the table, it was as if he was talking to himself. "And _this_ ," he motioned to the table, "is also felt familiar."

Touka had stop cleaning, she had turned off the faucet. Everything around them was still, silent.

"Sometimes I asked myself, do I have a family? My parents? Don't they miss me?"

 _Both of your parents are dead, you told me. You never knew your father, your mother died when you were little. You stayed with some relatives of yours until you left for college._

"Do I have a sibling?"

 _You're an only child but you had one person who looked up to you as a big brother. You both were close, she stayed with you. I don't know if she had any idea you are still alive. Or the reason she had joined an organizaton you were against. Perhaps she's still looking for you._

"What about my best friend? Surely I must have at least one person who was close with me?"

 _I haven't seen him again since I went to Kamii and met him. I heard he worked for CCG. But if you haven't seen him around then it probably means he's disappeared._

"What was I like, before? Why can't I remember?"

 _You were that one person who had a strong will. I don't know if you still are. But when you had a strong will, you always got what you want. You were also good at pretending, at acting. You never wanted to be alone. You wanted to protect us._

I don't know why you don't remember. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe you do want to. Maybe it's just better if you don't remember. Maybe it's better to start it over. There's no home for us. No Anteiku.

"Ah… I'm sorry, I keep babbling, don't I?"

"T-that's fine." She stuttered, not turning to face him. She didn't dare. She didn't want him to look at her face and saw everything she never meant to say.

She could feel his eyes on her.

"What about you, Touka-chan? Do you ever feel like forgetting something?"

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before slowly turning to face him, hands gripping the edge of the sink.

"No," she answered. "But I do know someone who was lost on his way home."

"Lost?" He raised an eyebrow. "That's really interesting. How does one get lost, on a way that he knows well?"

Touka bit her lower lip, tears bluring her sight. "I don't know," she whispered. She might be mad, she realized, for having her guard off, for crying in front of a stranger that once had known her but not so anymore.

They both were standing too far, she wanted to reach him, to hold him, to assure herself that was real, he was there, alive and breathing.

But she also knew better there was barrier standing between them.

So when he stepped closer with hands out, reaching for her, she shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I was not feeling well."

He smiled–that sad smile, something in his eyes flickering and for once she thought she was seeing _Kaneki_ when they both parted ways after rescuing him from Aogiri, and it turned out he saved her. Again. How many times had he saved her? How many times had she turned the favor? How many years had it passed?

"He'll find his way again," he said.

"Yes," she looked up to him. "He already has."


End file.
